He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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