just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
