This girl is more easily done than said...
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
