There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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