i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
