I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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