if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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