I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
