Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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