Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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