You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
