i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize