if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
