He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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