After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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