I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Randomize
