Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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