are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
