4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
