Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
