dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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