Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
