Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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