My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
