I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
