it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize