I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
