Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
