How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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