Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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