Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
