I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
He better not be in your backpack
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
