You just made me feel so damn special
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
