what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
