hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Randomize
