she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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