i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize