Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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