Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
