He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize