Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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