Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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