I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Randomize
