I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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