i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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