That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
