Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
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