You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize