is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
