my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
