3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
