just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
