May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
