I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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