I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
