they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
