Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
