I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
