i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
