Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry qurk hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(630): View more from Illinois

Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?

Fav 15 3063 1298
share tweet
(905): View more from Toronto

My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.

Fav 16 1209 4879
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(303): View more from Colorado

I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.

Fav 20 6972 1171
share tweet
(443): View more from Maryland

WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock

Fav 4 3933 1339
share tweet
(406): View more from Montana

There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!

Fav 9 2998 1176
share tweet
(304): View more from West Virginia

I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?

Fav 31 1287 2001
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(906): View more from Michigan

Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.

Fav 13 1415 3235
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(608): View more from Wisconsin

I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover

Fav 2 798 565
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(708): View more from Illinois

We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.

Fav 0 84 14
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT