you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
