We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
